Krypto Babe Magnet

Okay, this is how it goes...

  • You get any random five numbers between 1-25
  • Then you get a sixth random number between 1-25
  • Finally , you use any combination of addition, subtraction, multiplication or division with the first 5 numbers to equal the sixth number.
  • You can use them in any order.
For example, five random numbers: 2, 20, 18, 7, 11
A sixth random number: 14

2x20= 40
40-18= 22
22/11= 2
2x7= 14

That's how you play Krytpo! It's really easy, fun, exercises the brain and makes you more popular.

Now, when I was in school, I was the Krypto champion. You heard me correctly. I played in competitive Krypto tournaments. This is how it'd go down; several uber-cool students would sit around a table, while a dealer would distribute cards with numbers on them and place a master number in the middle. We then had to figure out the problem and shout "Krypto!" before anyone else. As everyone was pretty good at head math at this level, you usually had to end up saying Krypto right after you flipped your cards over. Then we had to explain how to solve the math problem. If you faltered or hesitated even for a moment, the other competitors (I use that term loosely) would shout in protest and the dealer would eliminate you from that round. So, even if you didn't have the problem figured out, you could try and bluff your way through it. If nobody caught you, or you figured it out on the spot, then you'd get the points for that round. At the end of many rounds the dealer adds up all the points and declares the winner. They then advance from table to table, leaving behind a wake of crushed dreams...smashed on the rocks of reality. The reality that the loser goes home and cries themselves, and their big neuron sparking melon, to sleep on their huge pillow.

Here is my dilemma. I ruled at Krypto. For two years (it would have been three in a row had I not been cheated by the hairy knuckled loser, Simon McDonald) I was the king of Krypto. I had my picture on the wall in the math lab, a manila colored certificate, and had my name promulgated over the intercom during morning announcements. It went something like this;

"So, that's all for sports, SNORE!!!. Now to the good stuff. The annual Krypto tournament was held on Friday night. Not sure why they did it on a Friday night, you'd think these studs of statistics would be out with their older, totally hot girlfriends from the community college, but no, they put that aside for one night of mathematical mayhem. Good thing they did, 'cause a packed auditorium witnessed a display of cranial combustion! In case you weren't there, not likely, or haven't heard, decidedly less likely, the new number krunching king is...no surprise, Todd "I brought my own folding chair, thank you" Jensen. Defending his title and winning a SAH-WHEAT new mobile computer and/or calculator thingy that he can even strap onto his wrist if he's ever in a pinch. If you see him in the hall, say congrats...he makes us Jaguars proud!"

So, back to my dilemma. Since those glory years of my youth, I've had to try and convince Annie that I was incredibly cool when I was young. You see, sports, student government, being funny and other non-essentials weren't really big at my school. Strange, I know. It was a nutty little oasis where girls just loved the math guys. Intriguing kids, draped in mystery and subtle allure, that could think on the spot and quickly turn out little mind puzzles- just drove them crazy. It was a strange phenomenon that Annie hasn't been able to buy into...yet. I'm hopeful that if I play my cards right, and continue to correct her head math in public whenever opportunity permits, she'll eventually see the appeal, and know just how lucky she really is.

11 comments:

Wayneman said...

Todd, my momma always said, "cool is as cool does."

And Krypto sounds wicked cool.

Besides, in the end, who do the babes REALLY end up with?

Sure, they might go out with Joe Jock, and may even MARRY Joe Jock.

But they soon come to the realization that true bliss comes from hooking up with the likes of Krypto Man himself, Todd Jensen.

You see, I was a band geek, myself and I can tell you that the chicks DIG the uniform and the shiny instrument.

BTW, this is a really dumb question, but do you have any relatives from Ogden who served LDS missions in Japan around '89-'90?

Annie Jensen said...

Wayne- I agree!

Also, I don't have relatives from Ogden, but I went to Japan in 95-97. Tokyo South. Where did you go?

Wayneman said...

That's AWESOME! I was in Nagoya, '90-'91.

Did YOU keep up on YOU'RE Japanese?

Wayneman said...

YOUR, I meant YOUR Japanese.

Erika W said...

I thought I had married the biggest high school geek, but you two are giving Jason a run for his money! Though I guess you've proven your point. Todd, this math thing sounds pretty nerdy, but you still married Annie, who is a total babe. Jason was a band geek AND a rifle twirler (so uber nerdy) and he got a totally hot wife. So way to go, geeky guys. You have triumphed in the end!

Those jocks from high school are probably all fat now, anyway.

Shanana said...

I was a cheerleader and ASB prez. I can say unequivically, that you are INDEED both dorks. ;-)

Annie, don't believe a word Todd says.

Shanana said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Wayneman said...

My case in point. I got the cheerleader.

Annie Jensen said...

Shanana: You just destroyed 8 years of hard work, as I've slowly chipped away at her resolve and reason. Thanks A LOT!

Erika: Don't try and group me with the Band Geeks (Wayne was trying to do the same thing). We never associated with those losers. Um...mostly because they would also shove me and my ilk into the girls locker room garbage can on a regular basis. Don't even get me started on the rifle twirlers! I will never forgive those bullies for what they did to little Danny Chang and his hearing aid! He was one of the greatest math minds in the regional sector. Well, after that little "incident" his confidence was SHOT! But in the end, we all got the babes, so I guess we can call a truce.

Wayne- No, I have not kept up with my Japanese, I'm sorry to say. Also, I love what your momma always said. "Cool is as cool does". I would love that slogan on a t-shirt, with a picture of Napoleon Dynamite, Mr. T or a calculator watch under it or something. That would rule!

Annie Jensen said...

...oh, and if the t-shirt was sleeveless! Even better.

Di said...

Andy and I would probably not have been friends in high school. If we had met, I imagine it might have gone something like this...
Me, sitting alone in the hallway, my cherry-red bangs in my face, reading something dark.
Andy struts by in his wife beater and beaded choker, greeting a friend with "YOYOYO Andizzle in the house!" At this point I imagine we would make eye contact, break it quickly and each mutter under our breath..."Freak"...

Just goes to show, you never know.