Why do I enjoy thinking people misunderstand me?

Seems that I kinda get kicks off being the mysterious misunderstood guy. For instance;

• Personality tests. I’m not a big fan of them and feel threatened when they think they know me and who I am. To me it seems like someone is trying to take a short cut. An easy way for them to understand me. If you want to understand me then pay the price! Years of toil and conversation, that’s what it’s going to take ;) You aren’t going to read my “cliff notes” then feel like you can communicate with me better. No fast food relationship here. There were never any short cuts in the lunch line in grade school, that pickle nosed old coot would hit me on the head when I cut in line, and no shortcuts in getting to know me either (IMHO). What can I say, emotionally, I play hard to get.

• Labels. I hypocritically can’t stand when others label me, or anything that even remotely approaches a label. It doesn’t even have to open the door, if it even approaches a label, I politely turn it away. Even if they are good labels. I’m always grumbling to myself, “How do you know that I’m introverted/impatient/quiet/durable/not a good joke teller/too talkative/shorter than you? Are you with me all the time? Have you known me in all possible situations? No? Then shut your big Dr. Phil face!” But, when I say this to myself I add a little mental winking emoticon ;), so it doesn’t come off so harshly.

• People are always asking me what I “do”. I don’t like this. It seems like this is always in the top three questions someone asks a person when they first meet. As if ones work defines and illuminates who they are. It doesn’t, so when people ask me that now I sometimes respond with random, unexplained answers, like;

“I recruit overweight babies for diaper testing at the 3M facility in Sugarhouse. We use only an FDA approved non-rear-staining blue fluid that I concocted. Well it was a group effort, really.”

“I roll burritos in my basement and sell them to Lynn Wilson knock off companies. There is good money to be made if you’re dexterous and nimble.”

“I look for craters in large bodies of water, so the energy oozing from underwater earth holes can be harvested and sold online. One simply downloads it.”

I usually don’t tell them that I’m kidding. If they catch on then they play along. If not, they are either very impressed or simply confused. Either way, I’ve taught them a valuable lesson about what truly defines a man.

• Tell stupid jokes. Then when nobody laughs I can justify it by saying they just don’t “get me” or my “intellectual” humor. (Note: using lots of quotations in your writing makes others think they should know exactly what you are talking about and they feel thick when they don’t)

Why I do these things? Don’t answer, it was rhetorical. But now that I know I do them, I will either:

1. Stop.
2. Convince myself it’s just a lovable funny thing I do (see my post about everyone getting a social quirk freebie ).
3. I’ll post it in my blog and thus feel that it’s something I’ve identified and will eventually fix, in due course. After all, I am the “type” to do that.