minivans and ear pieces

I finally got one of those Blue Tooth ear pieces for my phone. The ones that make you look like an attention starved cast member from an old Star Trek episode. I fought it like crazy after I swore I’d never wear one. I fought it like I continue to fight buying a minivan. Oh, the infamous minivan…inevitably dragging everyone with kids into its clutches, a virtual black hole for every young parent. The epic center of gravity eventually pulling all battered and numb progenitors of lovely offspring into it, stripping them of any last scrap of pride and coolness. Forever leaving them with an empty void- self consciously screaming to the world, “I no longer have it, but I once did. I swear to you, I once did!”

Fight it! Fight the luring siren’s call, I beg you!

Back to the ear piece; at the local Smiths, I actually responded to a lady who was talking into her ear piece. We were both browsing through the peanut butter section when I heard her say,

“Hmm. What kind should I get?”

“Well, I prefer chunky, but sometimes the bits get stuck in my back teeth. Everyone is different, I guess. How big are the gaps between the teeth in your family?” I replied, impressed with my own friendliness.

She then turned her head and looked at me blankly, revealing the ear piece that she was using to have a ‘private’ conversation. Thinking quickly (practice getting out of odd spots making my actions quite smooth) I pretended to have an ear piece too, holding my hand over my ear, as if I was trying to hear my own ‘private’ conversation. And looked at her with an expression that said, “What you’re problem lady?” I then flashed my wedding ring and walked off in a condescending huff.

Despite this nearly scarring experience, I finally consented and made it clear to Annie that I’d love one for Father’s Day. Since then, I’ve learned to love it. Aside from the fact that I look pretty good with a piece of technology protruding from my ear, it leaves my hands free to do other, more important things. Like swing as I walk. Put them in my pockets. Or hold the phone at my waist rather than my ear. As you can see, life is good.

As for the minivan; I guess that will come with time, as well. In the meantime, must…continue...fighting!